Thanks, Easter Bunny!

Now that Candypalooza, sometimes called "Easter," is over, my children are awash in sugar. I used to ration their candy consumption -- one piece after lunch, one after dinner -- but this just meant that their Halloween candy lasted until Valentine's Day, at which point they received a whole new batch of candy that then lasted until Easter. The Easter batch lasted until their birthdays and the upshot was that they had candy every single day, all year long.

Now I let them eat as much as they like in a sort of free-for-all sugar orgy until it's gone. Yes, they have to be tied to a chair if I need them to focus for more than 10 seconds on something, but the candy goes away much quicker, which is better for Mommy's waistline.

Another little discovery I've made is that this gift candy is basically kid money. And if kids have money, they can be fined. Refuse to get dressed? That's a peanut butter egg. Pitch a fit just as we're loading the van to go to school? The Bank of Mom will repossess your jellybeans. Get caught in the bathroom filling the sink with toilet cleanser? Bye bye Peeps. And the great thing about losing candy is, it's painful. And we all know a punishment only works if it hurts.

This fining thing works so well that I took all 3 kids to the grocery store yesterday -- something I only do if we are completely out of food -- and after the first fine was handed down (for knocking containers of pudding off the shelves), my normally rambunctious children were good as gold for the rest of the trip. First time ever that I've been able to leave the grocery store and still look people in the eye.

I saw the cogs turning in their little minds as the realization sank in : "she can take our candy away....Candy! Away!" Oh, what a sweet, sweet revelation. Mother of the Year, here I come.