Day 4

Okay Lord, you lost me.

I read Isaiah 4 today. It's very short. And I would be lying if I said I understood it. It speaks of the glory of the Lord and the cleansing of the people of Jerusalem.  I understand the words, but I am not seeing a connection.

So instead I looked up "fear" in the bible. I wanted to see what You said about it. Because frankly, Lord, I spent last night choking on fear. It washes over me in freezing waves and it acts like a drug on my brain, sending it into overdrive. Incessant, constant motion, none of it good.  In the day I am okay, but at night when the distractions are gone it's an endless chorus of "What if, what if, what if?"

Here's what the Bible says about fear, condensed version:

Old Testament:  lots of "fear of the Lord" here. Many times used when people chose to do the right thing over the popular thing, or even the legal thing, like when the Hebrew midwives feared God more than Pharaoh and refused to kill the Hebrew baby boys. Sometimes used to describe how people felt in tight spots -- like Abraham in Egypt, or Jacob when he knew Esau was coming. These powerful patriarchs felt fear. There is also quite a bit in the Psalms about fear -- especially the idea that because God is in charge we have no need to fear. Also, much about how God's eye is on those who fear him -- in a good way. In the Proverbs, the fear of the Lord is wisdom. It's smart to fear God above other things. In Isaiah, lots of messages from God "Do not fear, I will help you."

New Testament: God-fear is good fear. In Acts it speaks of people "living by the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Spirit." And this, from Romans: "The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.'" 

Then I looked up "afraid" and found that in the OT, fear often leads to sin --Adam lying to God,  Abraham lying to Pharaoh, Sarah lying to the angelic visitors, Moses ( fearing conviction for his murder) fleeing Egypt. And many, many places where God says, "Do not be afraid" mainly because he's got it under control. Later Elijah tells the widow, "don't be afraid " to use up the last of her oil and flour to feed him -- God is going to provide. And Elisha tells his frightened servant "Don't be afraid" and his eyes are opened to the chariots of fire all around the invading army. And so, so much in the Psalms -- "The Lord is with me; of whom shall I be afraid?" "When I am afraid, I put my trust in You." In the NT there are many places where Jesus tells the disciples "Don't be afraid." I like the reminder in Matthew that "you are worth more than many sparrows." And these words: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Speed reader version: Fear of God is good, but God doesn't communicate to us through fear. Every time he asked people in the OT (or New) to do something, the message was always "Don't be afraid." Always.

All of this is a long-winded way to ask you, Lord, to calm my fears. They came so thick and fast last night, so like a firestorm, that I felt like I was under attack. Perhaps I am. If that is so, then in the name and by the blood of Jesus, I ask you to bind Satan in this. I pray for a hedge of protection around my thoughts and emotions. Help the noise in my head to fall away so I can hear you clearly. Purify my heart so I can obey steadfastly. And, I need to be able to sleep, Lord. Really sleep without disturbing dreams or periods of wakefulness in the wee hours when I am so vulnerable. Like Elisha's servant, I need eyes to see the chariots of fire all around me.

Love,

me