And it all Unravels

Today is a classic scenario that reinforces my extremely anal approach to children and sleep:

Kids go to baseball game. Kids end up being out until 10:15. Kids finally wind down and fall asleep between 10:45 and 11:oo p.m. Parents end up staying awake until 11:30. Baby wakes parents at 6 a.m. Other children must be awakened by 7:15. Crabbiness commences.

Oldest daughter has minor meltdown in car because mother won't allow her to make thank you cards for her teachers this morning. She asks to make said cards as she is getting in the van to go to school.

Middle child conducts reign of terror in grocery store, annoying baby until she screams like a tortured rabbit. Then son shoves shopping cart into mother's abdomen and seriously endangers his chances of remaining in family. Mother has a little repent-and-be-saved talk with boy which involves a number of dire threats.

Baby engages in "piling on" whereby she screams at the mother repeatedly "CAN I WALK? CAN I WALK? CAN I WALK?" after which she attempts a suicidal leap from the shopping cart, which mother is fortunately able to thwart before any head injuries result.

Mother's head begins to pound like it's riddled with jackhammers. Mother calls Father and tells him that if he ever takes the children out late again he will be taking the follwing day off to deal with them as the mother hereby abdicates.

And that's just the morning. No doubt the fun will only increase when oldest child gets home from school.


These kids are so going to bed at 7 tonight. All of them.