Neotoma Cinerea

That's Latin for Pack Rat.

Wikipedia says a person who is a packrat is a compulsive hoarder. That's me in a nutshell. Now, in all fairness, I was raised by compulsive hoarders. My parents never got rid of anything on the off chance that it might be necessary at some later point or possibly come back in style. They are the reason why I a) hardly ever throw stuff away, and b) feel really guilty when I do.

After my linen closet epiphany, I decided I could do with a spring cleaning in that area. I went through my towels and sheets and realized that I had every single towel I'd ever owned, starting with the two sets I got as high school graduation gifts. Considering that my20-year reunion was 3 1/2 years ago, I've held on to those towels a long time. I got rid of sheets that went to a bed I don't own anymore, sheets that never really fit the bed we own now, sheets that I only have the top sheet for, and pillowcases that go with nothing in any bedroom whatsoever. I bagged up the ivory towels that have turned dingy, the green towels with the bleach stains, the other green towels with the brown marks on them that won't come out. I got rid of their matching hand towels and most of the washcloths, too. All together I filled two kitchen garbage bags with linens and took them all to Goodwill. I only saved about 5 old towels for clean up jobs and garage use. Everything else went bye bye.

I can take things in and out of my linen closet and nothing else falls out when I do. It's brilliant.

But that's not the end of the story.

I happened to mention this little act of purging to my mother and her reaction was one of distress and alarm. Did I not know that old towels were useful in the garage and other places? I assured her I did. Did I think that maybe I'd want those double bed sheets someday if one of the kids decided they wanted a double? I informed her that if one of them wanted a double bed someday, they could pay for it themselves as we have already provided them with a perfectly serviceable single bed. But what if we needed it someday for a guest room? I told her I'd buy new sheets if that were the case. At this point she subsided, but I could tell she was not entirely convinced of my sanity.

So it's not just that I have to muster the guts to get rid of the stuff, I have to be sufficiently on my game to explain why I got rid of it as well. Pretty big task for someone with so few functioning brain cells.