The Anthem of Adolescence

Nobody understands me.

I know I sang this song repeatedly from about age 14 until age 23 (late bloomer, ya know). Now I find myself singing it again and I have the same basic sense of ill-usage coupled with a desperate yearning to be understood which is patently not being fulfilled.

All of which gives one cause to wonder whether I've evolved much since age 14.

Everyone -- no exceptions -- is excited about this move but me. Try as I will, I cannot seem to muster any whoop-de-do.

I have, however, come to view it as fait accompli: it's going to happen and I am going to have to deal with it one way or another. I am trying not to do that with excessive kicking and screaming.

Fact: this house is too small for our family. In about a year, when Maggie will be out of the highchair, we will not all five be able to sit down to a meal together because our eat-in kitchen is too small for a standard size table. Tim and I can't really fit our stuff into the closet we share; it's all over the floor of our room, almost all the time.

Fact: this house is not soundproof enough for our family. Normal conversation in the kitchen is enough to wake Maggie, whose room is directly above. Sound from the living room is funneled up the stairs. If Tim watches TV downstairs, I can hear it crystal clear in our bedroom. The shower wakes Maggie up in the morning; the toilet wakes up Abby Kate (their rooms are on either side of the bathroom).

Fact: we have probably done all we can do to this house. We've redone all the flooring, much of the lighting, the wiring, the driveway, the garage, the kitchen and both bathrooms. We also replaced 1/3 of the windows and installed a sump pump. When you consider what we paid for this house and what we've put into it, we're probably not going to make that much on the sale.

Fact: we are fast approaching the years when Tim and I are going to need more privacy. He would argue we're already there, but I think we probably have another year or two before it's critical. Right now we have one full bath that we share among the 5 of us. I can't remember the last time I showered without an audience of some kind.

Fact: I have a kick-butt garden and nobody feels its loss but me.

Fact: we have too much stuff and moving is going to really help us pare down and get rid of things. I was at a girfriend's the other day and in her linen closet were 4 towels and some washcloths. She actually had empty shelves. In my linen closet, you can't remove a hand towel without several other things falling out. As I looked in that nearly empty closet, I had a moment of clarity about what my life would be like without so much stuff.

I would feel better if we could just move and be done with it. Waiting around for the closing and having to deal with selling this house is too upsetting. I need to just rip the bandaid off.