Jen Hatmaker, I Love You

Day three of the Big Why.

Went to bed last night still churned up, still asking God "why?" and reminding myself, "God is GOOD. He is FOR you." This became significantly harder after the five year old came in at 11:30 (precisely 4 minutes after I had fallen asleep) and announced she had wet her bed (well, of course she did. Her sheets were freshly washed and she'd just had a bath. It was kismet). But I did it. I slept and only clenched my jaw a little bit.

One of the really hard things to swallow was this thought: "What if he's right?" Because what comes with that rightness is the sneaking suspicion that I am not really the mom for this job, that our mojo as parents is so very fragile that this kind of event would sink it beyond recovery, that it might be a mistake of epic proportions, the kind you never really come back from. That we have done a really spectacular job of screwing up the kids we have and should never, under any circumstances, be unleashed on someone with no genetic obligation to us.

So I was letting all this junk swirl around in my noggin, depressing little thoughts bubbling up here and there, and I sat down at the computer to read a blog or two and came across this post which made me feel so much better. In fact, it made me feel so much better, that I firmly believe it was not an accident that I stumbled on it today.

Here's is what I'm holding onto right now: I am covered with GRACE. I can't ever be perfect. No matter how much I hold that as my standard, I will never, ever hit it. But between my best effort and the righteousness of God is GRACE. It fills that gap in a way I could never hope to do myself. Grace completes what I cannot complete. Whatever my husband says about our pathetic parenting skills, my secret weapon is GRACE.

Breakfast of champions? Grace.