I Are Unhappy

I am having one of those days when everything ticks me off. I can't seem to achieve any kind of zen to my day -- it's all a swirling morass of yuckiness.

There is this person in my life, someone that I can't ever really get away from, who used to drive me utterly crazy. Pull-your-hair-out-foam-at-the-mouth crazy. For many many years I was a slave to this emotional response. This person was an absolute genius at picking just the right set of circumstances and then pulling the one string that would make everyone involved come completely unglued. I finally reached a point -- I'd like to think it was maturity, but let's not get all cuckoo here -- where I just decided I was not going to react to this person's shennanigans anymore. I completely disassociated and it turned out to be a very successful technique. I grew calmer, refused to be drawn into conversations about this person by others who needed to vent, and developed a sublime indifference to whatever chaos this individual chose to create.

And then I lived happily ever after....until today.

The chaos is back and I am struggling with how to respond. My normal decision to opt out is not an option this time...I have to respond. And it makes me mad that this person has found a way to subvert my indifference, to force me to interact when I would really just prefer not to. I am very comfortable with the "you go your way, I'll go mine" lifestyle we've been leading and this all-up-in-yo-face tactic has me really annoyed.

See, I don't want to care but this person is really really good at making caring unavaoidable.

I hate when that happens.

Maybe I am approaching this all wrong. Maybe the truth here is that the whole thing is a tempest in a teapot. If I take a little time today and do some deep breathing and visualize world peace and center my chakra (? okay, I admit, I don't know what this is) then the sturm und drang will die down. Maybe it's only a problem if I let it be a problem. Maybe this whole thing just wormed its way through a chink in my armor because I'm tired and flustered about other stuff.

Hmmmm. I think I may be on to something here.