The musical is over and I thought my week would relax a bit, but the crazy, hot mess that is my life continues to steamroll ahead, dragging me along with it.
Gack. I am so tired of feeling one step behind myself.
All conversations with my better half are on the fly. A maximum of 5 minutes, sometimes quite intense but always very short, is what we've been reduced to. He managed to pick a fight with me at bedtime last night, so that took care of any pillow talk.
Stony silence ensued.
I hate it when we are like this. I always feel like part of me has been severed, or has ceased functioning. Like having an arm you can see, but can't get to work. I suppose this is a good trait if you're going to be in a marriage, this very low tolerance for disharmony.
Ultimately, I think this is what Satan wants -- discord in the body, any part of the body. It all contributes to breakdown, to misunderstanding, to entropy. We get so bogged down in our petty crap, we stop moving forward, stop praying, stop looking out and turn our eyes on our own junk which is naturally so much more important than anyone else's critical issues.
And I move so slowly anyway, for heaven's sake. I'm not what you'd call a barnburner. I have to think, and meditate, and consider, and rethink. So today I am even slower than my normal slow crawl.
Unfortunately, today has a lot of demands that are going to require a little more zip than "slow crawl."
Sigh.
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